D!oh!

Last night i almost broke my foot ...

In the safety of my own home ...

With no high jinks involved ...

All on my own ...

I'd spent the afternoon out and rushed back at about seven as i really wanted to follow the election results live as they were coming through.

Like most people, on sunday nights i have to do tons of simple, banal stuff, y'know, like ironing and getting something to eat.There's never enough time and so i tend to whizz around doing things one after the other, in a kind of non-thinking, labotomised robot mode.

At about seven thirty i thought i'd make a quick dive *shock horror* under the shower and as i was drying off i heard the presenter saying along the lines of "two minutes to go until ..."

As it is sometimes in life, prudence pays and you really and truly should listen to that little voice saying "Watch out dude, there's soapy water on them thar tiles".

The upshot is that i came skidding out of the bathroom, sideways and arse first, into the living room and THWACK ... there was a major sofa + left foot coincidence in the fabric of time.

Yeahyeahyeah v.v funny i'm sure

Much manful howling and whimpering later i discovered that the Sarko/Ségo duel is game on and my foot was starting to swell up.

This morning i couldn't put any weight on it and very seriously thought about not going in.

However, being a macho idiot, i thought i'd butch it out and go in wearing 'civies', i.e : no suit and tie, just jeans, casual shirt and ... great big ... fuck off and die big ... hefty boots ...

Evidently, to say that i had a dumbass 'bathroom incident' does not do wonders for the street cred, so i nonchalantly 'suggested' to BoyIdiot that i'd been indulging in some very extremely high risk acrobatics of the bedroom varity *extreeeeeme shaggin'* .... of the sort not to be tried by mere mortals ... and that i'd only just managed to come through it by the skin of my teeth.

BI being the kind of bloke/plonker/twat that he is did the rest ...