Fakkin' Aida, as we say in unposh typically colloquial english :'((((

Read the last line from this posting going back six months ago : i now humbly submit to you the answer

*Ahem*

Background

Imagine the noise: someone's having a shower or even better, a bath. I don't mean splishy splashy, playfull sounds. Remember how, as a kid, you'd play in the bath, scooping up handfulls of water then joyfully throw 'em overboard with a heave-ho onto the bathroom floor. I can clearly recall the satisfying 'clapping' sound as the H2O soapy suds made contact with floor tiles whilst mum indulged my caprices

Fast forward to today :
Imagine that same sound coming from your kitchen
Imagine that the time is a bleary eyed, seven thirty in the morning :'(

Today's episode

I'd gotten up very early (for me) and hadn't really paid that much attention to what appeared to be dried water stains on the kitchen floor - i was sleepily thinking that maybe i'd been a bit clumsy whilst doing the washing-up last night, or that i'd spilled a bit of water from the kettle, perhaps the fridge had gone into defrost mode overnight, or.. like, whatever

I did have a fleeting, niggly naggly feeling that something was a bit amiss, but hell, i'd just made my first coffee of the day and was grouchily setting about ironing the shirt of the day when ...

... i became aware of a whooshing sound (think of the sea pushing shingle around the shore) followed by a horrible, gurgling sound from the kitchen sink

I dashed over, to be stricken by the sight of the most abominable, cruddiest and unholiest looking, 'second-hand' water bubbling up through the plug hole

Really, really filthy water, which then reekingly spewed itself out, up and onto the kitchen floor

I'd just managed to mop it up, when not even five minutes later, the same thing happened again

Fuckshitwankpissbollocks

To cut a long story even longer: the communal, used water, evacuation pipe has a blockage in the basement which means that as this pipe gets gradually filled up with 'stuff', it acts like any sailor in a port where any old hole will do : it's got to find a let-out

Since i live on the floor above the blockage ...

I dunno about you, what with the 'crisis' and so on, but my immediate priority is buying flippers, a snorkel, goggles, web suits, gas masks and all the accoutrements of your average, special forces person for an infiltration mission into hostile territory

I need to change jobs
I need to move to a new quartier
I need to find an un fucked-up appartment