Start the week

I've finally figured 'it' out, this is the way it goes :

Caller : "Hello, i need to be more confident when speaking infront of people ..."

Reception desk : "I'm sure we can help you. what line of business are you in ?"

Caller : "I work in ... by the way, i'm slightly unstable in the head ..."

Reception desk : " ahhhhhh, okaaaaay slightly unstable you say ? How would you qualify 'slightly' exactly ? A teensy-weensy bit mad, completely barmy or raving loony-tunes ?"

Caller : "Well, infact, i'm absolutely skitso ..."

Reception desk : "Ahhhhhh, riiiight, putting you through to someone right now , have a nice day !!"

Telephone rings again

Me : " Haloooooo, how can i help you ?"

Caller ; " i'm completely off my rocker and apparently you're the guy who does ..."

Me : " *pfffffft* oui oui oui ..... "


Or how about this for size :


Caller : "Hello, i need to be able to negotiate more effectively ..."

Reception desk : " I'm sure we can help you. what line of business are you in ?"

Caller : "I work in ... by the way, i've just got divorced, my dog's died and my daughter's just announced that she's running off to elope with her first cousin Sophie and i'm feeling sooooooo alone ..."

Reception desk : "Ahhhhhh, okaaaay, putting you through to someone, have a nice day !!"

Me : " Haloooooo, how can i help you ?"

Caller : "i'm a lost cause and apparently you're the guy who does ..."

Me : " *ggggggg* oui oui oui ..... "


I just don't seem to get to work with normal people (whatever that is) anymore.

What was it that someone said ? " Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.."

I've got a new version; "I'll take on board the hyperventilating, pusillanimous, axe waving potential serial killers , come all ye unto me ..."

Kinda thing

*as he shuffles off to bed mumbling*