Joke of the day

More classy stuff ;@)

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl named Mary stopped beside him on her new shiny bike.

"Nice bike" the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation, saying "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
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There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds.

The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds.

All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong.

The head nurse replied, "We don't know what to do with this baby."

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."

"Why?" asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."
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Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side and said :

"When I got married to your mother the first thing I did when we got home was to take off my trousers. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were enormous on her and she said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too large.

I said to her, "Of course they are too large for you. I wear the trousers in this family and I always will. Ever since that day we have never had a single problem".

Jack took his father's advice to heart and as soon as he got Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing. He took off his trousers and handed them to Jill and told her to try them on. When she did she said "I can't wear these, they're far too large for me".

"Exactly" Jack replied "I wear the trousers in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that".

Then Jill took off her knickers and gave them to Jack. "Try these on Jack" she said, so he tried them on but they were too small.

"I can't get into your knickers" said Jack. So Jill said "Exactly, and if you don't change your friggin' attitude, you never will!"