Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin'to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a fertility candle for ye and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father...'

They then parted ways..

Some years later they met again. The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?'

She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'

The Father asked, 'And tell me , have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful!How is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle.'

Cheers DRP ;@)

The difference between men and women

Click on the image to read

Times are hard ...


The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's,
and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds,"
you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.

Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies
and learning their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico ..

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal.
Oh Great!!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear
is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future,
that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan When I told them I was suicidal,
they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Cheers DRP ;@)

Christmas spirit ...

Taser : Instrument utilisé afin de mieux faire passer le courant entre la police et la jeunesse.

Où est donc mon Ricard ? : Conjonction de coordination (Où, et, donc, or, ni, car)

Mozart : Célèbre compositeur que l'on écoute le plus souvent dans les pizzerias car on sent bien que mozarella.

La mort : Première cause de décès dans le monde.

La beauté intérieure : Concept inventé par les moches pour pouvoir se reproduire.

Marée noire : Quand les poissons sont habillés par Diesel

Porte-clefs : Invention très pratique qui permet de perdre toutes ses clefs d'un coup au lieu de les perdre une par une.

Jardiland : Seul endroit où si tu prends trois râteaux, il y a une pelle offerte.

Cellulite : Couche graisseuse qui enveloppe souvent les femmes, mais emballe rarement les hommes....

Masochisme : Concept proche de la politesse - frapper avant d'entrer

Crever l'écran : Oublier de mettre la dragonne de la manette de jeu de sa Wii

David Guetta : Seul DJ qui mixe les mains en l'air

Etat : Système mafieux le mieux organisé de tous les temps

Match de l'équipe de France : Seul match de foot qui passe sur la chaîne comédie

Cravatte : Accessoire servant à indiquer la direction du cerveau de l'homme

Carla Bruni : Blanche-neige moderne ayant eu une préférence pour un des sept nains : Grincheux

Maison Blanche : Actuellement Barack noire

Le coiffeur : Seul endroit où les bleus peuvent espérer une coupe

Spermatozoïde : Meilleur ami de l'homme. La preuve, dès qu'on a une couille, il est là...

Voiture : Invention ingénieuse, permettant de contenir 110 chevaux dans le moteur et un âne au volant


Cheers Balaj :@)

Cadrage ...

La politique
(Il faut cliquer dessus pour le lire)



Merci (encooooore) Balaj :@)

L'identité nationale




Cheers Balaj :@)

Cliquez sur l'image pour la voir dans une nouvelle window :)

French nerds

K. dit : Oh putain
K. dit : J'ai de nouvelles lunettes
K. dit : J'ai l'impression d'être passé à la HD
________________
shmo : bon, jtexplique. tu prends un objet, par exemple un string. ensuite tu fous ton paquet dedans. à partir de là ton paquet est referencé.
not : ok, et il est protégeé ?
shmo : non, tous ceux qui ont le même string peuvent y avoir accès. il faut que tu le dise privé.
not : ok. et si je veux lier mon paquet à d'autres trucs, je fais comment ?
plouc : euh... vous parlez de quoi, là, les mecs ?
shmo : de Java, pk ?
plouc : non, rien...
__________________
Potemkin dit : putain... 97, c'était il y a 12 ans
Potemkin dit : oO
Potemkin dit : *coup de vieux*
Archo. dit : *esquive*
__________________
MisterFly: Dis, c'est quoi ton genre de nana ?
Carwash: Bah au point où j'en suis..
Carwash: Je dirais : vivante
___________________
Xi: Mort de rire! En anglais, le prof me demande de traduire "Ma belle-mère ne peut pas venir manger ce soir."
Xi: J'en avais aucune idée, alors j'ai mis "YEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"
Xi: Il m'a mis un demi point^^
____________________

Yoann : ptin jviens dapprendre la mort de ma grande mère...
Fab' : oh jsuis désolé
Yoann : ben moi aussi
Yoann : j'aimerais quand même bien savoir c'était l'enterrement de qui ya 6 mois
_____________________

Jeremie : La loose
Maxime : ?
Jeremie : Ma mère vient de tomber sur ma trousse à maquillage.
Maxime : Et alors ?
Jeremie : Sa première question a été de me demander de quand datait ma dernière copine. J'ai pas répondu. Donc elle m'a demandé si j'étais gay ><>Cheers Balaj ;)

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A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of stupid (part II)

An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
__________________________________
A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

he replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
___________________________________
A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
___________________________________
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
____________________________________
Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
_____________________________________
Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
_____________________________________
A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'

Ad-tistique license

Ad-tistique license

A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble!

I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
_____________________________
I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown.

I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts .''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''

his response -- click.
_____________________________
A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did.

I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.

I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
_____________________________
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
_____________________________
An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas .

I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas .

When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

Classe !



Merci Balaj ;)

10 questions

What's your favorite film ? - If i were stranded on a desert island with my collection of dvd's, it would have to be 'The Wings of desire' (which is a bit obvious) ... but then it could also be 'Amélie Poulin', 'Paris Texas', 'American beauty' or even 'Fight club'

Which character would you be in the film ? - Probably the main character from Wings of desire, for lot's of reasons

Your favorite photographer ? - Henry Clark

The first meal you can cook ? - From scratch ? I'd say pasta !! But my fave would be an old fashioned roast piece of 'something' with a heap of vegetables

What makes you notice a woman ?- Probably her laugh .. but physically i'd say the eyes, face, ...legs ....

Which famous/infamous people would you have for dinner ? - Keith Richards !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But i doubt if i'd be alive to tell the tale the next day

Which historical event would you have stopped /changed if you coul ? -euhhh .. the assasination of Archduke Ferdinand

What do you dislike most in others/yourself - In others .. probably their lack of honesty or of being frank. As for me, well, my own weaknesess

Who/what has been most inspirational in your life ? - I'm not sure if 'inspired' would be the right word, but whenever i watch a sporting event, i'm frequently stunned at how a sports man, or woman, comes back after a serious injury. Nikki Lauda, Thomas Muster, Djibril Cissé and hopefully Philippe Massa are all excellent examples.

What is the biggest lie/falsehood we are led to believe - Anything to do with religion ... that there are 'Just' wars ... that women come from Venus and men from Mars ... that carrots help you see in the night ... that eating spinach gives you muscles and puts hair on your chest :D

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