Today's joke in english

A Frenchman is having his petit dejeuner (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam), when an American man, chewing gum, sits down next to him.

The Frenchman ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

American: "You French folk eat the whole bread ?"

Frenchman (in a bad mood): "Of course."

American: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In the States, we only eat what is inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to France."

The American has a smirk on his face.

The Frenchman listens in silence.

The American insists: "D'ya eat jelly with the bread ?"

Frenchman: "Of course."

American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling) "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, put all peel, seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to France"

The Frenchman then asks: "Do you make love in the States ?"

American: "Of course !"

The Frenchman: "And what do you do with condoms once you've used them ?"

American: " We throw them away, of course."

Frenchman: "We don't. In France, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to America."

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An indian is busy looking after his goats.

A cowboy rides up to him and asks :

- This your dog ?

- Him is !

- Do you mind if i speak to him for a minute ?

- Dog not know how speak !

The cowboy goes aver to the dog

- How's it goin' little fella ?

- Not too bad ! (a look of shock from the indian...)

- This indian, is he your master ?

- Yup, sure is.

- Is he good to you ?

- Yup, very good; he lets me roam free all day, feeds me really well and he plays with me ... (the indian is horrified)

The cowboy asks the indian :

- Is this your horse ?

- Him is !

- Can i speak to him ?

- Horse not know how speak.

The cow bot goes over to the horse.

-How's it hangin' big fella ?

- Way cool ! (the indian is looking decidedly ill)

- This here indian, is he your master ?

- Yup.

- Does he look after you well ?

- Sure does : He mounts carefully, makes me take just enough exercise, a good old trot now and then. He doesn't wear me out, he lets me drink regularly, rubs me down twice a day, he's made me somewhere nice to sleep with fresh hay and as much oats as i want (The indian cannot believe his ears)

The cow boy goes back to the indian :

- Are these your goats ?

- Goats only know lies ...