A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you swear after me, OK?"
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
"Oh, shit mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops".
WHACK!!!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out. She looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice
"And what do you want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fucking life it won't be Coco Pops..."
__________________________________________________
It was after the Flood. The Ark had landed safely on dry ground again and Noah was working away building a new house. Suddenly a voice from the heavens boomed,
"NOAH! HARKEN UNTO ME!"
Noah looked up and said, "Is that you, My Lord?"
"YES!" thundered the voice. "NOAH, I WANT YOU TO BUILD ANOTHER ARK!"
"Another ark?" queried Noah.
"YES! ONLY THIS TIME I WANT LOTS OF STOREYS ON IT, NOT JUST ONE OR TWO!" resonated the heavenly voice.
"Lot's of storeys?" said Noah.
"YES!" replied the voice. "AND THIS TIME I DON'T WANT THE ARK FILLED WITH ALL KINDS OF ANIMALS! THIS TIME I WANT IT FILLED WITH FISH! MORE SPECIFICALLY, I WANT IT FILLED WITH CARP!"
"Let me get this straight," said a puzzled Noah. "You want me to build you another Ark, only this time with many storeys, and fill it full of carp?"
"YES!" affirmed the voice.
"But why? Is there going to be another flood?" questioned Noah.
"NO!" boomed back the voice, "I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE A MULTI-STOREY CARP ARK..."
_________________________________________________
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women."
"You know what?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you swear after me, OK?"
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
"Oh, shit mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops".
WHACK!!!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out. She looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice
"And what do you want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fucking life it won't be Coco Pops..."
__________________________________________________
It was after the Flood. The Ark had landed safely on dry ground again and Noah was working away building a new house. Suddenly a voice from the heavens boomed,
"NOAH! HARKEN UNTO ME!"
Noah looked up and said, "Is that you, My Lord?"
"YES!" thundered the voice. "NOAH, I WANT YOU TO BUILD ANOTHER ARK!"
"Another ark?" queried Noah.
"YES! ONLY THIS TIME I WANT LOTS OF STOREYS ON IT, NOT JUST ONE OR TWO!" resonated the heavenly voice.
"Lot's of storeys?" said Noah.
"YES!" replied the voice. "AND THIS TIME I DON'T WANT THE ARK FILLED WITH ALL KINDS OF ANIMALS! THIS TIME I WANT IT FILLED WITH FISH! MORE SPECIFICALLY, I WANT IT FILLED WITH CARP!"
"Let me get this straight," said a puzzled Noah. "You want me to build you another Ark, only this time with many storeys, and fill it full of carp?"
"YES!" affirmed the voice.
"But why? Is there going to be another flood?" questioned Noah.
"NO!" boomed back the voice, "I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE A MULTI-STOREY CARP ARK..."
_________________________________________________
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women."
posted by Damiel | 6:55 PM
0 Comments:
Enregistrer un commentaire
<< Home