From the Inbox

A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies

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A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband.

With the instructions at the entrance: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you may not go back down except to exit.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor No. 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner has opened "The Wife Store" across the street.

Floor 1 has wives that love sex.

Floor 2 has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited...

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A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

She says to the clerk : " May I have 50 Christmas stamps ? "

The clerk says : " What denomination ? "

The blonde says : " God help us. Has it come to this ? Give me 6 Catholic, 12

Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists. "