blagggue spotte

How does the Bush Administration Change a Light Bulb ?

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb

4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished

7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark

8. One to viciously smear #7

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along

10.One to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

__________________________________________

Bush Light Bulb Joke (II)

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

__________________________________________

The idiot sex guide

1. Eating Mexican food is not the cause of gonorrhea.

2. There is no need for dice in role playing.

3. Intercourse doesn't happen on a highway.

4. If you engage in oral sex first, it's not called a head start.

5. If she says she's into "bondage," don't show her your financial portfolio.

6. You can lie down during a one-night stand.

7. When a woman talks about waiting for the "right time," she's not referring to a commercial break.

8. Only sleep with someone you love or can say you love without smirking.

9. Making out doesn't mean getting your money's worth.

10. Sex is like "The Club" - Accept no substitutes.

__________________________________________

A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.

With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage where hisnew shiny porche was parked and put his manhood in a vice. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

Next she picked up a hacksaw.

The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."