What with all my comings and goings, i hadn't twigged that there'd been a distinct dearth of BoyIdiot highjinks over the last ten days or so

At WorldCorp this morning, however, he was faffing around the photocopier - he'd obviously started to copy something, realised that he'd forgotten the half of it in his office, slapped his forehead and with one leg ostentatiously raised upwards and outwards, he hotfootshufflety-hopped off to find whatever was missing

As it is, at the best of times, BoyIdiot lollops around the office like an undainty and ungainly, cartoonesque, hippopotoballerina, but today, well ... let's just say that he gave a really good impression of someone auditioning for the ministry of silly walks

Anyhow, in an attempt to make a short story longer, what had happened was this :

BI took last week off thinking that he'd make the most of the fine weather and 'get fit'

On his first day, the Saturday, a week after avidly following the french open, he trotted over to the tennis courts. Less than 20 minutes later (apparently) he was on the ground writhing around waiting for an ambulance to take him home - he'd trapped a sciatic nerve whilst reaching out for *that* ball which was just *this* much too far away from him and his short hairy legs just couldn't slide him there

On the Thursday he went to see somone who fiddled about with him and suggested that tennis "might be a wee bit too strenuous" and that perhaps he might like to take up something a bit more genteel like swimming, instead

Last Saturday : BI goes to his local swimming pool and picks up a dose of foot clap

According to my mole, BI now has an angry looking, multicoloured pus filled abonination of a boil type affair going on under the arch of his foot

Perhaps he should take up origami, with the proviso that he only uses plastic sissors ...

Mmmm on second thoughts, maybe not aie aie aie ouille i've got paper cuts over all me fingers