Today's joke

An oldie but goodie

A guy is flying over the Pacific when the plane starts to struggle .

Pretty quickly, the plane ditches into the sea but he manages to get out in time and swim to a nearby desert island.

When he comes round, he looks around the beach and sees that the only other survivor is a beautiful blonde woman who he realizes, to his amazement is Claudia Schiffer.

She is quite badly hurt but he nurses her back to health and in doing so, she falls in love with him.

Their life on the island is absolutely idyllic.
Its warm there is plenty of food and water and they spend their entire time shagging like bunny rabbits all over the island.
However, the guy begins to get grumpy and irritable.
Claudia can’t work out what is wrong.
“Tell me. You know I love you and will do anything to make you happy.”
“I can’t. You’ll think I’m weird”
“No really. I’ll do anything”
“Ok then. First of all, would you mind putting my clothes on?”
“Ok”
“Now would you rub some mud on your face, just round your chin as if you have a five o clock shadow?”
“Ok”
“Now could you sit on this rock and act like you are holding a pint in this hand and a fag in the other?”
“Ok”
“Right, now this is the important bit. Could you ask me in a really gruff deep voice what I have been up to?”
“Er..Ok. So what have you been up to?”

“YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GUESS WHO I’VE BEEN SHAGGING!”