Blagues du jour (II)
I went to my gym instructor. “Can you teach me the splits?” He said, "how flexible are you?" I said, "I can’t do Tuesday."
What key opens all caravans? A pikey!
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? A: Eileen.
What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg shorter than the other? A: Irene.
Why did Michael Jackson go into Primark? A: He heard children's trousers were half off.
How does Michael Jackson know it's bed-time? A: The big hand touches the little hand.
How is a shopping bag like Michael Jackson? A: One is white, made of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with. The other is for carrying groceries.
A Mexican firefighter has twins and names them Jose and HoseB.
What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean. Nothing, it just waved.
A car full of blondes headed towards Disneyland when they came across a road sign saying Disneyland left, so they drove back home.
What do you call a blonde who is now brown haired? Artificial Inteligence.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That's the Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual..."
Whats worse than a dead baby in one bin? A dead baby in 10 bins.
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...
A little girl walks into her parent's bedroom. "Jesus Christ!!" she screams, "and you want me to see a doctor because I suck my thumb!!"
What do you call a monkey with a stick of dynamite up his bum? A Baboom.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eyed-deer.
What does a fish say when it hits a wall? Damn.
Why did the first koala fall out the tree? Cos he was dead!Why did the second koala fall out the tree? Cos he was holding onto the first! Why did the third koala fall from the tree? Cos he thought it was a game!!
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but God knows how they got in there.
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
Why are pirates so grumpy? They just ARRRRRRRRR!
A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing except some cling-film.
The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says: "I can clearly see your nuts".
Did you hear about the gay wizard? He disappeared with a poof!
Father shaving in bathroom. 3 year old daughter walks in - pointing to her father's penis. She says "Dad when I grow up will I get one of those?" Father replies, "Yes - if you're good you'll get one - if your bad you'll get lots"
What's black and blue and doesn't fit - a dead epileptic
What weighs eight pounds and won't be plucked next Christmas?John Denver's Guitar
2 fish in a tank. The one says to the other; "How do you drive this thing?"
What key opens all caravans? A pikey!
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? A: Eileen.
What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg shorter than the other? A: Irene.
Why did Michael Jackson go into Primark? A: He heard children's trousers were half off.
How does Michael Jackson know it's bed-time? A: The big hand touches the little hand.
How is a shopping bag like Michael Jackson? A: One is white, made of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with. The other is for carrying groceries.
A Mexican firefighter has twins and names them Jose and HoseB.
What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean. Nothing, it just waved.
A car full of blondes headed towards Disneyland when they came across a road sign saying Disneyland left, so they drove back home.
What do you call a blonde who is now brown haired? Artificial Inteligence.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That's the Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual..."
Whats worse than a dead baby in one bin? A dead baby in 10 bins.
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...
A little girl walks into her parent's bedroom. "Jesus Christ!!" she screams, "and you want me to see a doctor because I suck my thumb!!"
What do you call a monkey with a stick of dynamite up his bum? A Baboom.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eyed-deer.
What does a fish say when it hits a wall? Damn.
Why did the first koala fall out the tree? Cos he was dead!Why did the second koala fall out the tree? Cos he was holding onto the first! Why did the third koala fall from the tree? Cos he thought it was a game!!
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but God knows how they got in there.
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
Why are pirates so grumpy? They just ARRRRRRRRR!
A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing except some cling-film.
The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says: "I can clearly see your nuts".
Did you hear about the gay wizard? He disappeared with a poof!
Father shaving in bathroom. 3 year old daughter walks in - pointing to her father's penis. She says "Dad when I grow up will I get one of those?" Father replies, "Yes - if you're good you'll get one - if your bad you'll get lots"
What's black and blue and doesn't fit - a dead epileptic
What weighs eight pounds and won't be plucked next Christmas?John Denver's Guitar
2 fish in a tank. The one says to the other; "How do you drive this thing?"
Libellés : From the in-box
posted by Damiel | 7:58 PM
0 Comments:
Enregistrer un commentaire
<< Home