Joke of the day

A man goes to see an optometrist.
The doctor says, "You have to stop masturbating."
The guy says, "Why? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
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A wife complains to the doctor that her hubby is 300% impotent.
The doc asks "how that, 300% !?"
She says: "you know about the 100%, and now he's gone and broken his finger and burnt his tongue."
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.