*The joy of six ....

Childrens' t.v programs

Like most people who grew up in the U.K in the seventies, i have happy memories of winters being suitably bitingly cold, a respectable layer of snow on the ground,the school heating system breaking down (and two weeks extra holiday thrown in to boot, yoo hooo) sledges made from whatever bits of detrius lying around, interminable snowball fights, chill blained feet and false doses of impetigo spreading around the school yard quicker than ... well ... rumors about Anne-Marie's spontaneously combusting keks

The summer, though, has even fonder, rosier, memories of water fights, scrumping apples from the vicar's orchard, hide 'n' seek where the first one to betray his hiding place was rewarded with a quick slap and general ridicule for being so wimpishly easy to find (the last one discovered,however, would be rewarded with a snog from the aforementioned Anne-Marie of Loosekekingham)

Another highlight for the prepubescent was the arrival of the annual trouncing by the aussies at our national sport. This was always heralded by the emblematic theme tune to Test match Special

Not by any means a childrens program i grant, but to see grown men reduced to tears by the inadequacy of the national team was a leveller; right up until the Botham barnstorm at the end of the seventies, that is.

Despite the 'Cider with Rosie' idyll, there were evidently periods of dull grey wetness in june, july and, habitually, august where there was no cricket, no ice cream van, no trip to the beach, not the slightest glimpse of Mrs Glassman sunbathing in the nuddy in the back garden ... sometimes (often) all we had to watch was the offering of childrens tv to pass the time

The staple fodder was the sometimes double entendred Blue Peter , with John Noakes (who'd get dobbed in for doing arsebruisingly stoopid things to the amusement of all except for he), Valerie Singleton and the other, long haired bloke with his dog that you wouldn't leave alone for ten minutes with your best mate's sister ...

Nah nah nah,kiddies daytime t.v was les masochistic, more wholesome (for the most part) .. but sometimes a bit .. subversive or anarchic

Evidently, one of the first 'rainy day' programs for kids that springs to mind is anything with Rolf Harris : a guy who still, to this day, wants kids to discover 'art'.A bit bonkers to some, maybe, but a 'real' artist who showed kids the way to get involved "Can you see what it is yet ?"

Take Hart is a good example of another artisty guy who'd try to 'awaken' kids. The highlight, morph, was the plastecene man whose onomatapaeïc sounds could be understood by the most backwards of kids in the neighbourhood (yours truly)

I didn't realise this, but Bagpuss has since become a cult figure. The mice (we will wash it, we will scrub it ...), Madeleine the bimbo doll, Gabriel the groovy toad and professor Yatel (the miserable, negative old git) ... luv it luv it luv it

Captain Pugwash :questions are still asked as to whether or not Seaman Stains and Master Bates really existed as crew 'members' on the Painted Pig. Never-the-less, and once again, double entendres abound for those with a trained ear to hear and a tainted spirit to see ...

*An idea happily lifted from the Guardian website