Funny
This joke has been translated from the french original...
A guy and his girl have been going together for about a year. The girl decides that it's high time for him to meet her parents and so arranges for a sunday lunch at their house "look clean and tidy" she tells him.
As the day draws closer the guy starts to worry about what he should take as a gift; flowers ? Chocolates ? A bottle of whisky for his future dad in law ...
It's the friday night before the weekend and as he's going home from work, he walks past a used car dealership.
At the front of the show room he sees a Lotus Elise ...
"Wow", he thinks, "the car of my dreams to go with the girl of my dreams; the in-laws are gonna be so blown away".
He takes the car out for a test drive; every thing seems fine - the engine purrs, the car's very responsive and doesn't seem to be too nervous ... the only thing that bugs him is the asking price : it seem's way too low.
At the end of the test drive, he asks the vendor why the car's so inexpensive.
"Because, the previous owner was an eighty year old grandma who's grandson won the lottery and offered it to her as a present. One day, at the gas station, the sealing ring on the petrol tank cap fell off and she didn't notice, when she finally did, she resorted to her own particular method of solving the problem - she smeared vaseline all around the rim and so managed to protect the tank - we still can't find the replacement part"
The vendor shows the guy the gas tank - sure enough, it's smothered with some kind of oily gunk.
"Just be sure to remember :", says the vendor," if it starts to rain, apply a fine film of vaseline around the rim - everything will be fine"
The guy thinks for a few minutes and finally takes the plunge and pays for his dream car.
Sunday - the guy arrives at his future in laws' house; evidently the father's highly impressed and says : "son, just call me dad".
Niceties are exchanged and they're all about to sit down to lunch when the girlfriend says : "listen, we have this kinda stupid game; we never ever speak when we eat. The first one to say anything has to do the washing up".
She gestures towards the kitchen where there is the biggest mountain of dirty dishes and pots and pans never seen before.
He gulps and says "okay".
They all start to eat and using a series of gests and signs; everyone knows when to pass the salt, potatoes and the peas etc ......
After about twenty minutes, the guy has had enough.
It's just too abnormal, he thinks.
Suddenly, he gets up and goes over to his girlfriends' eighteen year old sister and kisses her - tongues, one hand inside her bra, the other one up her skirt ....all the works.
He looks around - nobody speaks.
Hmm, he thinks .... he then sits her on his lap, undoes his fly and in absolute silence, motions to her to speak into his flesh coloured microphone.
Nobody moves, blinks or twitches.
Twenty minutes later, after he's had time to restore his forces, he goes over to his future mother-in-law ....
He picks her up, takes her to the sofa pulls down her panties, then pumps, humps and bumps away for a good quarter of an hour ...
Not a peep, sound or whisper is made by any one.
As he's doing up his fly he looks aout of the window and sees that there are spots of rain "noooooooooooooooo" he thinks.
Worrying about the damage that the rain's going to do to his new toy, he runs to the upstairs bathroom, rummages around in the medical chest and finds what he needs - vaseline for the petrol cap.
He runs down the stairs like a mad man unhinged, shirt tails flying, buttons popping off his shirt in all directions towards the dining room - at which point, 'dad' jumps up, throws down his napkin and says :
"no no no, you win : i'll do the washing up"
;o)
A guy and his girl have been going together for about a year. The girl decides that it's high time for him to meet her parents and so arranges for a sunday lunch at their house "look clean and tidy" she tells him.
As the day draws closer the guy starts to worry about what he should take as a gift; flowers ? Chocolates ? A bottle of whisky for his future dad in law ...
It's the friday night before the weekend and as he's going home from work, he walks past a used car dealership.
At the front of the show room he sees a Lotus Elise ...
"Wow", he thinks, "the car of my dreams to go with the girl of my dreams; the in-laws are gonna be so blown away".
He takes the car out for a test drive; every thing seems fine - the engine purrs, the car's very responsive and doesn't seem to be too nervous ... the only thing that bugs him is the asking price : it seem's way too low.
At the end of the test drive, he asks the vendor why the car's so inexpensive.
"Because, the previous owner was an eighty year old grandma who's grandson won the lottery and offered it to her as a present. One day, at the gas station, the sealing ring on the petrol tank cap fell off and she didn't notice, when she finally did, she resorted to her own particular method of solving the problem - she smeared vaseline all around the rim and so managed to protect the tank - we still can't find the replacement part"
The vendor shows the guy the gas tank - sure enough, it's smothered with some kind of oily gunk.
"Just be sure to remember :", says the vendor," if it starts to rain, apply a fine film of vaseline around the rim - everything will be fine"
The guy thinks for a few minutes and finally takes the plunge and pays for his dream car.
Sunday - the guy arrives at his future in laws' house; evidently the father's highly impressed and says : "son, just call me dad".
Niceties are exchanged and they're all about to sit down to lunch when the girlfriend says : "listen, we have this kinda stupid game; we never ever speak when we eat. The first one to say anything has to do the washing up".
She gestures towards the kitchen where there is the biggest mountain of dirty dishes and pots and pans never seen before.
He gulps and says "okay".
They all start to eat and using a series of gests and signs; everyone knows when to pass the salt, potatoes and the peas etc ......
After about twenty minutes, the guy has had enough.
It's just too abnormal, he thinks.
Suddenly, he gets up and goes over to his girlfriends' eighteen year old sister and kisses her - tongues, one hand inside her bra, the other one up her skirt ....all the works.
He looks around - nobody speaks.
Hmm, he thinks .... he then sits her on his lap, undoes his fly and in absolute silence, motions to her to speak into his flesh coloured microphone.
Nobody moves, blinks or twitches.
Twenty minutes later, after he's had time to restore his forces, he goes over to his future mother-in-law ....
He picks her up, takes her to the sofa pulls down her panties, then pumps, humps and bumps away for a good quarter of an hour ...
Not a peep, sound or whisper is made by any one.
As he's doing up his fly he looks aout of the window and sees that there are spots of rain "noooooooooooooooo" he thinks.
Worrying about the damage that the rain's going to do to his new toy, he runs to the upstairs bathroom, rummages around in the medical chest and finds what he needs - vaseline for the petrol cap.
He runs down the stairs like a mad man unhinged, shirt tails flying, buttons popping off his shirt in all directions towards the dining room - at which point, 'dad' jumps up, throws down his napkin and says :
"no no no, you win : i'll do the washing up"
;o)
posted by Damiel | 11:39 PM
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