Another bitter, cold snap has arrived here with a mix of general dampness, ambient chill and stabbing, icy blasts of wind that cut you through to the marrow

Cold enough to make dogs whimper and strong men weep as they trudge to work with their heads bowed and hunched forwards, laden with the unseen troubles of the world on their shoulders.

Cold enough to make you wish that you didn't have to leave home in the morning, cold enough that once outside, you want to scurry back home and curl up under the duvet, still warm from the bodyheat

But it's not cold enough for me !!

For i am from a tiny island the one just a wee bit off to the top left coast of the yurpeen continent

We get used to cold and greyness from an early age where i come from - ohh yes we do

But i want more cold, really cold ... i want it to be Siberia

I want it so cold that you pray for any unseen, highly improbable catastrophe that would mean having to phone in : my front door has iced it's self shut ... my retired neighbour was sooo cold that he took a bath, died, was forgotten about and has now turned into what seems to be human soup in the bathtub and the police have ordered us all to stay indoors ...

Moby - In this world

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost

In nine hours from now, i'll be seeing one of my RH people who traditionally hands me, with no questions asked, his yearly, K€ training budget.

He trusts me to wisely make the most out of his 'investment' ... just as long as he has an on-the-spot run down of who's doing what and where everyone is.

Which is why the need for scrupulously kept files ...

... and an office ...

Since last friday, my little corner of TheCompany looks as though a decidedly unsmart bomb has gone off and the resulting detrius has been unceremoniously piled up high then covered with special sheets and tarpaulins to make it invisible to dumb people

Tomorrow, i'll be winging it

With an acces code (that came from someone who became a bit too loose lipped after a few beers too far), unable/unwilling to do any meaningful work and with high hopes of logging onto my WoldCompany e-mail network, i 'squated' the ressource room all morning.

I can't rightly say if it's current practice or it's just my skinflint company, but i could only receive about 1/3 of my e-mails and couldn't even acces my Outlook folders.

Anyway, not even an hour had passed when i just got soooo cheesed off with the whole thing that i started surfing around

Just a wee a bit

Nothing 'dodgy', just news and info websites

Then, out of curiosity i hit the 'History' tab.

Now, i don't 'bout you, but whenever i'm in a public place, an internet café or wherever, i always make an effort to clean up my traces. After all, i don't want people knowing that i check out midget_throwing_for_ fun.com

It would seem that not every one is as vigilant.

Especially the 'someone' who has signed up to 'hot libertine rencontres'...

Tomorrow, i'm starting my enquête,inch' allah

I've spent the day as an S.B.F - sans bureau fixe - and *shock horror* have had to work upstairs with MissusAccountsLady (who shall forthwith be known as Marge)

It's so nice to be kept up to date about 'things' in general, even more so when the 'thing' in question is your office.

A simple "oh by the way, your office is being redecorated on friday" would have been enough.

To cut a long story longer: i arrived this morning to find that my office had been ransacked and left looking as though a group of trampys had had one hell of a party in there.

If i'd been forewarned i'd've moved the important life saving stuff out (the chocolate biscuits, the earl grey tea) removed the compromising pictures and perhaps even taken a few dossiers to w.o.r.k on

Hélas, it wasn't deemed important enough to pre-warn me ... pfft

I'm working tomorrow ... again :'(

Joke of the day

A French couple go on holiday to Thailand. One afternoon the wife goes shopping whilst the husband finds a little Chinese prostitute for some retail therapy of his own.

A few weeks later back in Paris the man realises that he has a problem and goes to see the Doctor.

The Doctor takes one look and says

"You have been to Thailand. . . it's going to have to come off"

Obviously distraught the Frenchman decides to get a second opinion....quickly.

The next Doctor says

"You have been to Thailand....it's going to have to come off:"

The Frenchman decides to head back to Thailand....they must, afterall, have specialists for this type of thing.

In Bangkok he finds a wise old Doctor who says

"You been with Chinese prostitute?"

"Yes" says the Frenchman

"The French doctor tell you it chop off?"

"Yes" says the Frenchman

"No" says the wise Doctor

"You leave it, it fall off by self"

:@)

Against my better judgement and after getting home extremely late tonight, i decided to get a pizza delivered (it's not big, not clever and not healthy i know, but it was damned goooood)

Having placed my order, i had trouble with it being validated.

With each hit on the refresh button i found new and entertaining swear word combinations (all of which containing the 'effff' word, naturally)

It wasn' until i could feel my intestines getting into auto-digest mode when i thought that i should re-read the small print.

Hidden right *there* at the bottom of the page and written in itsy bitsy writing was the phrase "minimum order is 50€"

50€ !!

Stone the crows, that's a ton of money to break out for bleedin' pizza, i was thinking.

I went back to my order, chose a huge plate of antipasti and the most expensive pizza i could see (10€).

I was still thirty euros shy of the fifty needed.

What to do ?

Well, i could see no other solution ...

A bottle of red stuff ...

... and what appears to have been half a crate of beer :)

The 2007 Darwin awards

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

A late outsider ...

"Mole Hunt"

10 January 2007, East Germany) A 63-year-old man's extraordinary effort to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a victory for the mole.

The man pounded several metal rods into the ground and connected them to a high-voltage power line, with the intent of rendering the subterranean realm uninhabitable.

Incidentally, the maneuver electrified the very ground he stood upon.

He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.

The precise date of the sexagenarian's demise could not be ascertained, but the electricity bill may provide a clue

Darwin award nominee I ...

"Cow-ard"

(19 April 2007, Phnom Penh, Cambodia) Unwanted amorous advaces on a heifer resulted in a man's death at the hooves of the violated bovine.

Sounds of a scuffle culminated in the discovery of his naked body lying beneath the frightened family cow.

Injuries to his head and genital area were consistent with being kicked to death.

Why did he do it?

The man's divorce had become final a mere 10 days prior to his fateful final fling. In the divorce, and also a previous divorce, his ex-wives cited his insatiable desire as the cause of the dissolution.

Police concluded that the man died in a rape gone wrong. They do not plan to take action against the cow, which appeared to have been acting in self-defense

Darwin award nominee II...

"Beer for Bears"

(19 August 2007, Serbia) It's well known that alcohol impairs judgement.

It's well known that carnivorous wild animals and humans don't mix.

What happens when we combine all three?

One might expect men, beer, and bears to combine with lethal consequences. Such was the case for a 23-year old man who inadvertently fed himself to Masha and Misha at the Belgrade Zoo.

The Zoo director said of the incident, "Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage."

The man's naked, mauled corpse was found inside the bear habitat, along with several mobile phones, bricks, and plenty of beer cans.

His clothes were completely undamaged, suggesting that he approached the bears bare-naked by choice. The bears, fearing that his intentions were as dishonorable as they were ill-informed, meted out a summary justice.

Later, Masha and Misha "reacted angrily" when keepers tried to recover the man's corpse, but were eventually persuaded to give up their tasty prize.

We await word on how many beers were bartered for the body.

Rare Double Darwin award ...

"Stop. Look. Listen."

(12 September 2007, Tampa, Florida) The setup: A woman wins two concert tickets from a local radio station. She can't believe her luck. The Dave Matthews Band, live! She invites her friend to join her. But they are in for more than a concert experience.

Flash forward to the next morning. My buddy, head of operations at the amphitheater, looks like hell. He tells me that two women were killed the previous night at the concert. I am shocked. Nothing like this has ever happened at the amphitheater. I ask for details.

Flash back to the previous evening, 8:30pm and pouring rain. The show is delayed. Two women leave the venue to escape the rain. They pass multiple free shuttle buses that run directly to the parking lot. Instead, they opt for a shortcut across a 7-lane Interstate.

They run a hundred yards through wet grass, and jump a six-foot fence that borders the road. Ahead are 3 lanes of freeway traffic, a 100' median, and another 4 lanes of traffic. Beyond that is another six-foot fence, the maze of an 'under construction' garage, and a long hike around a casino.

All in all, the 'shortcut' to their vehicle covers a distance of about a half mile. And the women are in a torrential thunderstorm. Free shuttle bus, or mad dash across dangerous territory?

My buddy was an eyewitness when the first vehicle struck the women at 8:30 pm. Oddly, this was in the first lane of traffic, on a straightaway where one can see headlights for miles in either direction. The impact hurled the women farther into traffic, and each was struck by a second car. They did not survive the collisions.

Ironically, one of the women was an "energetic and gifted athlete" who won two national championships in gymnastics.

Physical prowess is no substitute for the homespun maxim: "Stop. Look. Listen. Or tomorrow you'll be missing."

Meritous nomminations ...

"Support Group"

"Gravity still works."

(28 July 2007, Czech Republic) A pack of thieves attempted to steal scrap metal from an abandoned factory in Kladno. Unfortunately for them, they selected the steel girders that supported the factory roof. When the roof supports were dismantled, the roof fell, fatally crushing two thieves and injuring three others.

(21 June 2007, Philippines) Three entrepreneurs planned to profit from stolen scrap metal. They entered a former US military complex and approached the prize: an abandoned water tank. Bedazzled by the potential upside, the three threw logic to the wind, and began to cut the metal legs out from under the tank. Guess where it fell? Straight onto the thieves. Their flattened bodies have not yet been identified.

(31 July 1997) Two teens were disassembling an electric tower with wrenches when it toppled to the ground. They apparently wanted to sell its aluminum supports for scrap, but they failed to realize the essential role the aptly named "support" plays in a 160-foot tower. One of the men was crushed by the collapse of the ten-thousand-pound tower, while the other dug himself out from under, a sadder but wiser man from his close brush with a Darwin Award. Reference: Associated Press

Darwin notes, "What are these thieves doing, playing a deadly game of Jenga?! This entire category may soon become too common, per the Rule of Excellence. See also Barn Demolition."

Worthy third place goes to ....

"Weight Lift"

(27 July 2007, Guadalajara, Mexico) 24-year-old Jessica was working out in the Provincia Hotel's gym when she realised she needed something from the floor below. Instead of picking up the phone, using the intercom, or just walking downstairs, she decided that the open shaft of the industrial lift was the communications device for her.

So Jessica stuck her head into the empty shaft to shout to the people downstairs. And somehow, she missed noticing that the elevator was coming up towards her.

If the elevator had been going down, one could say that she was in no position to observe the approaching lift.

But, leaving aside the stupidity of sticking your head into an elevator shaft, if she was looking down, how could she miss the mass of metal inexorably headed her way?

Since an elevator cage and a skull are both solid objects, one had to give. Let's just say, the elevator won. Jessica will be missed by her family, but not by the gene pool.

The unlucky Runner up ...

"The Enema Within"

(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.

The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.

The 2007 winner is ....

*drum roll and symbal clash*

Is .....

Wait for it ....

"What goes up must come down."

(20 June 2007, South Carolina) A passing cabbie found a 21 year-old couple Znaked and injured in the road an hour before sunrise. The two people died at the nearest hospital without regaining consciousness. Authorities were at a loss to explain what had happened. There were no witnesses, no trace of clothing, and no wrecked cars or motorcycles.

Investigators eventually found a clue high on the roof of a nearby building: two sets of neatly folded clothes. Safe sex takes on a whole new meaning when you are perched on the edge of a pyramid-shaped metal roof. "It appears as if [they] accidentally fell off the roof," Sgt. Florence McCants said.

This is a true Darwin Award trifecta: TWO people die, WHILE in the act of procreation, due to an ASTONISHINGLY poor decision. Bottom line: If you put yourself in a precarious "position" at the edge of a pointy roof, you may well find yourself coming and going at the same time.

Ironically, one of the deceased was named "Tumbleston." (Some reports list the name as "Tubleston.")

yeah baby yeah, click me

It struck me today how some people leave more of a void than others by their absence.

Maybe it's the bonkers one who's always getting up to crazy things and yet manages to come through un-scathed ... it could be that time during the sky diving initiation week-end where the parachute doesn't open and they unabashedly regale us with their brush with the death fandango at three thousand feet ... or the holiday in Greece where that beautiful dolphin they swam up to wasn't really a dolphin - but more of a hungry, man eating, white shark.

Perhaps it's the quiet, dilligent one that we don't really see. The one who's tucked away in some god forsaken, dark and dusty, forogtten old corner between the photocopier and the stock room. Who, nevertheless, is happy with their lot and soldiers on getting the job done with no fuss and bother ... it only dawns on us that they've been away when, by the coffee machine, we start to go over the most recent mishap to befall Marius ... who'll be off life support and walking un-aided any time soon now

You also have 'the obscure one'.

'The dark one'

The one that's crossed over to the 'other side'

Mayhem and chaos are their watch words.

Their motto is : "Now ... where's my friggin' hammer gone to ?"

If it's working, is fully operational and doesn't need fixing .. well what the hey ! Let's go head on and get it over with then ... let's smash it all to bits ... let's break it and scatter it all up

Dear, solitary, lonesome reader, please spare a thought for me in your prayers as i grimly announce that MissusBossWoman has now returned from her company sponsored beano to Savoie

*Run for the hillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllls The high princesse of the Sith has returned *

Edith Piaf - La Foule

La foule

Je revois la ville en fête et en délire
Suffoquant sous le soleil et sous la joie
Et j'entends dans la musique les cris, les rires
Qui éclatent et rebondissent autour de moi
Et perdue parmi ces gens qui me bousculent
Étourdie, désemparée, je reste là
Quand soudain, je me retourne, il se recule,
Et la foule vient me jeter entre ses bras...

Emportés par la foule qui nous traîne
Nous entraîne
Écrasés l'un contre l'autre
Nous ne formons qu'un seul corps
Et le flot sans effort
Nous pousse, enchaînés l'un et l'autre
Et nous laisse tous deux
Épanouis, enivrés et heureux.

Entraînés par la foule qui s'élance
Et qui danse
Une folle farandole
Nos deux mains restent soudées
Et parfois soulevés
Nos deux corps enlacés s'envolent
Et retombent tous deux
Épanouis, enivrés et heureux...

Et la joie éclaboussée par son sourire
Me transperce et rejaillit au fond de moi
Mais soudain je pousse un cri parmi les rires
Quand la foule vient l'arracher d'entre mes bras...

Emportés par la foule qui nous traîne
Nous entraîne
Nous éloigne l'un de l'autre
Je lutte et je me débats
Mais le son de sa voix
S'étouffe dans les rires des autres
Et je crie de douleur, de fureur et de rage
Et je pleure...

Entraînée par la foule qui s'élance
Et qui danse
Une folle farandole
Je suis emportée au loin
Et je crispe mes poings, maudissant la foule qui me vole
L'homme qu'elle m'avait donné
Et que je n'ai jamais retrouvé...

Enrique Dizeo

Sheer madness ... my day disappeared in a *plouf* of smoke : two stop 'n' go visits, MissusBossWoman wants some ideas for the next twelve months with the onus being on 'us' doing more PR stuff.

TosserTrainer, the unwashed one with the attitude problem, managed to really get my goat at the end of the day. He's been out training people at a company of mine for the last four months or so and has just announced that the trainees have finished their programme but still have two weeks to run.

Why he tells me this now and not, let's say, four weeks ago is difficult to comprehend.

When i politely 'suggested' to him that he could .. y'know .. wing it ... he looked at me as if i'd started the phrase with "your mamma ......"

_________________________________

"Here, try this"

"Thank you ! ... *phtouey* .. what'n the hell's that ? You tryin' to poison me ?"

"It's carrot juice ... i was thinking you might be half rabbit *arrf arrrrf*"

The names of the protagonists with held for fear of ridicule

Part I

I'm i'm a bit too old now to be getting acne, so imagine the fright when i woke up on Monday morning to discover what seemed to be a second head growing out from one cheek : i'd been attacked by a man eating beastie ... in the comfort of my own boudoir ... at night, whilst i was sleeping .... how feeble is that ?

Things got even better on fatidic Wednesday when 'we' decided to take a few of our trainees out for a jaunt to the musée de vin.

MissusBossWoman declared that we would all take the bus, as opposed to the métro, to see the sights along the seine (this despite that it was quite foggy and although not quite of a pea soup consistancy, was thick enough to obscure anything worth seeing)

Off we trundled, about six of us, to wait for the Bus of Doom which arrived after an interminable ten minutes of inane chit-chat (i was not in a particularly chirpy mood) :

Trainee 1: So what do you do at the company ?

Me: As little as i can feasibly get away with

Trainee 1: No, really, what do you do ?

Me: Really, i try to fill my days out with the most complete and utter nothingness .. i'm bringing applied Taoisme to the workplace

Trainee 2: Hahaha, but when you're not here doing your applied Taoisme stuff, what else do you do ?

Me: Me ? Nothing much, apart from eating moldy old dried bread and rancid ditch water for dinner

Anyhow, the Bus of Doom arrived, we all got on and off it lurched in an erratic wild charge ...

Part II

Why the 'Bus of Doom', you may wonder ?

Read on and you will discover the devine retribution that was about to befall me for my tetchiness ...

The Bus of Doom pulled in to the stop, then, to allow people to get off and the group of us to get on.

As a car driver, i know that bus drivers can be a bit bolchy at the best of times what with people using 'their' lanes to park in, getting cut up and being held to account for lateness.

I can very well imagine that this day might have been one of 'those days' for the driver and could feasibly have been exacerbated by the nonchalently leisurely pace at which we all boarded.

As soon as the doors were closed *shhhht* the driver hit the accelerator and zoomed off at a g-force defying speed *vavavooooooom*

The Bus of Doom was off on it's lurching voyage of terror and bodily destruction.

The acceleration was so abrubt and brutal, that ...

... i lost my footing on the rain sodden floor ...

... and went skidding down to the other end (imagine someone having a nasty spill whilst skiing)

... and in the process, manged to get a nasty 'whump' on an ear which hurt like bejesus ...

... and left me sitting on my arse, blinking and stunned like a thing that's just been brained

So stunned was i, that all of my trainees/collegues thought that i had concussion.

The shock and the shame of it all :-/

To compound things, a very very very old bloke (of an age where his body must be made entirely from just bones and dust .. that kind of 'old') tried to lift me off the floor but couldn't quite manage it on his own.

So another equally old and as equally wrinkly guy tried to take my other arm - by which time i'd regained a bit of composure and had visions of making the headlines of the evening news :

"Drunken English tourist assaults and kills two frail o.a.p.s on the N° 72 bus in central Paris"

Part III

I've obviously spent the the rest of the week nursing what in all probability will turn out to be cauliflower ear and have been in grouchy harrumping mode

Finally, last night i thought i'd have a bit of cleaning therapy - i got home, cleaned the place up, chucked some stuff in the washing machine and even had a shower ( i know, i know, it's not sunday)

I promptly dosed of at about eight o'clock in front of the t.v only to awaken about 2am with my favorite programme on : Chasse et peche

Y'know how it is when you've had a good slumber; you're wide awake and are generally incapable of going back to sleep, no matter how many trillions of sheep you try counting

Out of sheer frustration and boredom i went blog surfing.

Nothing unusual there, except that i stumbled accross a colleague's blog

Someone who's a bit 'across' from me in the company's food chain ...

On this day

1839 - The French Academy of Sciences announces the Daguerreotype photography process.

1951 - The United Nations headquarters officially opens in New York City.

1986 - After losing a patent battle with Polaroid, Kodak exits the instant camera business.

Deaths :

1995 - Peter Cook, British actor and Comedian (b.1937)

1939 - Johann Strauss III, Austrian conductor(b.1866)

1873 - Emperor Napoleon III of France (b.1808)

Births :

1908 - Simone de Beauvoir, French author (d.1986)

1978 - Gennaro Gattuso, Italian footballer

Me

Another meme lifted from my blog hopping adventures ... using music titles to describe yourself (i'm using the random play mode from real player - this should be fun)

What would describe your personality?
Differente - Gotan project

What do you like in a guy/girl?
I bet you look good on the dance floor -Sugarbabes

How do you feel, today?
Requiem pour un con - Serge Gainsbourg

What's your life's purpose?
Soul surfing - Fatboy Slim

What is your motto?
That's entertainment - The Jam

What do your friends think of you?
Too drunk to fuck - Nouvelle Vague

What do you think of your parents?
Aux armes etcetera - Serge Gainsbourg

What do you think about very often?
Sorry angel - Serge Gainsbourg

What do you think of your best friend?
Imagine - John Lennon

What do you think of the person you like?
When i see you smile - Van Morrison

What is your life story?
We're on a road to no where - Talking Heads

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Personal Jesus - Johnny Cash

What will be played at your funeral?
Sinnerman - Nina Simone

What is your hobby/interest?
Moondance - Van Morrison

What is your biggest secret?
Trouble - Coldplay

Not tooooo sure about that one :@/

To judge from the inondation of e-mails today, one can gather that the holidays are over and the festivities have been forgotten - business as usual, then, with it's usual lot of harridans and depressive neurotics.

Tomorrow i'm out visiting ... we'll see what that brings

I just don't know how i manage it, but my own personal dry aired, trampy vaccum attracted two derranged nutjobs on the way to and from work today (thank heavens i don't take lunch breaks)

This morning's incarnation was a fifty-odd year old guy who kept muttering and whistling incoherantly about 'things' which became more and more disturbing at the sight of every new female passenger who alighted.

Tonight's visitation was a baglady who really wanted to show me the inside of her socks ....

To be frank, i'm at a loss as to what to think sometimes.

Maybe i should feel more compassionate towards the unfortunates ? (the snob)

Lock 'em all up ? (mean sprited bastard)

Pretend that it's all normal ? (heartless and un-caring fucker)

Noir Desir - Tostaky

Joke of the day

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."

The man perks up at this.

"So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.

"So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you in making the decision?"

"She has," says the man.

"And what is it?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting a new kitchen."

I've already said before that my office is on the ground floor whilst MissusBossWoman, TheAccountsLady, BoyIdiot et al have offices upstairs.

Evidently there are pros and cons with this way of things ... although it's all mainly pros from my point of view :)

The most notable advantages are that no-one sees when i arrive or leave, i can pick and choose when i want to go up-stairs to see what's going on and i generally get very little serious grief.

All of this is going to come to an end though : i found out today that there are going to be some 'organisational changes' at work ... i recall that the unspecific word soon was used

I'm going to be moved, with forceps and much gnashing of teeth, up-stairs to a new and yet to be built office ... next door to BoyIdiot *fuckshitwankpissbollocks*

MY ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) = Tiddles Citroën *bwouahahahah*

MY GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) = Vanilla Hobnob :D

MY DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) = Blue Pussy *ahem sorry*

MY SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) = Nowt

MY SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) = The Black Chocolate

MY NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) = Charlie Inger

MY WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names) = Franck Rose

MY TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) = Renouf Rochdale (!!)

MY SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) = Summer Orchid *heuuu that's way iffy*

MY CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”) = Banana Sockie

MY HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) = Cocopop Beech

YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) = The Shaggin' Lightnin' Tour *bwouahahahh...hey girls :@)*

Petit rappel de l'année 2007:

Je voudrais remercier tout ceux quim'ont envoyé des e-mails en chaînes pendant toute cette année, car grâce à votre bonté:

1) j'ai lu 170 fois que MSN Hotmail allait supprimer mon compte

2) J'ai accumulé environ 3000 ans de malheur et je suis mort 67 fois à cause de toutes les chaînes que je n'ai pas renvoyées!

3) Quand je sors d'IKEA, je ne regarde personne, car j'ai peur qu'il (ou elle) m'emmène dans un hotel, qu'il (ou elle) me drogue, pour aprés m'enlever un rein pour le revendre au marché noir!

4) J'ai versé aussi toutes mes économies sur le compte d'Amy Bruce, une pauvre petite fille qui était malade à l'hôpital plus de 7 000 fois (c'est drôle, cette petite fille a toujours 8 ans depuis 1995...)


5) MonGSM Nokia gratuit n'est jamais arrivé, ni les entrées que j'avais gagnées

6) J'ai inscrit mon prénom parmi 3000 autres sur une pétition et j'ai peut-être sauvé une espèce menacée d'écureuil nain à poil dur en Biélorussie orientale.

7) Je connais la recette pour ne plus être seul en amour: il suffit d'écrire le prénom d'une personne sur un papier en pensant très fort à elle puis de se gratter le cul en tournant dans le sens des aiguilles d'une montre autour d'une Renault 4L (pas facile detrouver une 4L)


8) J'ai lu au moins 25 tomes de tous les préceptes du Dalai Lama et j'ai accumulé du bonheur pour au moins les 4690 prochaines années!!

9) Sans oublier les 50 fois où j'ai dû scruter mon écran nuit et jour pour détecter le fameux message qui contenait cet enfoiré de virus que même Microsoft, Mac affee, Norton Symantec etc étaient incapables d'avoir l'anti-dote....et qui, non content de bousiller le disque dur, risquait de flinguer la chaîne stéréo, la télé,la cafetière.le sani_broyeur !!!!!!

IMPORTANT: si tu n'envoies pas cet e-mail dans les prochaines 10 secondes à au moins 8500 personnes, un dinosaure venu de l'espace viendra bouffer toute ta famille demain à 17h 30

Back to the grind

I've only just twigged how much time BoyIdiot spends in the IT ressource room, i think he must go on work breaks to break up the montony of it all.

Today i went in there looking for someone and no sooner had put a foot in the door when there was a frantic clicking and closing of IE windows and surruptitious, guilty glances from the direction of BI himself.

Hmm curiouser and curiouser, i thought

Then another thing dawned on me : he's been sporting some kind of straggly goatee beard type affair... probably to act as a food reserve for the long stretch beetween his lunch break (i've seen him eat) and going home

Today it'd vanished.

Either he's hitting the midlife whatchamecallit, he's got the hots for some chick or ... whatever

Quote of the day "Y'know, when two people are in love, there's always a regard that doesn't fool anybody, love is blind after all. But with Carla and Nico ? Pfffft who knows, they're always wearing sunglasses .." from a discussion overheard between the WickedWitch and the Gorgone in the planning room

New year

I like surprises, me ... but last night was a bit .. surreal...

Camels in Montmartre !!
Strange, un cute, little troll people ...



Lots of noise, smoke, flares ...

The french are having another revolt and i'm in the thick of it .. wayyhayyy !!

But what are they protesting about ? Is it a protest against the new anti-smoking law ? Ahh non Monsieur

Is it about the proposed change to the age of retirement ? Ahh noooon, pas ditout, Madame

My French compatriots d'adoption have found a new reason to make themselves heard - just say NON to the end of the year !!!


"Ni Dieu ni montre"

"2008, pas si vite"

"C'était mieux maintenant"

"2000 huîtres avariées"

Ahhh ... i just love the smell of fumigène in the mornin' :)

Notoriously, there's no such thing as 'last orders' in french bars and so at about 3 in the morning i bade a 'weary' farewell to the shiny happy people in the (very) vain hope of catching a métro home.

Say, what kind of state does one need to be in to lose a boot and not even know it ?

Happy hangover day !
;@)