Gotan Project - Diferente

Click play, watch, listen, chill out

Paris, Notre Dame, 1pm

J-18

The countdown has been launched and i've already started going through my files and things in preparation for my absence during my summer hols.

My bank finally got around to paying back to me the money that had been lost way back in May - i noticed last week that either i'd been paid very little or that some one had very graciously made a donation to the "Let's send Damiel on a nice holiday" charity.

It turns out that not only had the bank come good, but also the backhander i'd been paid for my little bit of moonlighting (as a translator to my new found music producer buddy) has also finally gone through *yessssssss*

All in all, i can pretty much go where i fancy going with out too much hastle.

Ain't life sweet :@)

Against my better knowledge, i let my self be talked into going to see the arrival of the tour de France on the Champs Elysées - i spend 3/4 of my life there already and i didn't really fancy going back on a Sunday

Nevertheless, there was a definite street carnival feel to the place, what with Rivoli roped off, no cars and people selling the inevitable yellow jerseys



The place was crawling, really choc a block with people all straining to get a look at the first riders coming off La Seine

A huge roar went up as the caravan came whizzing along rue de Rivoli followed minutes later by the first riders who came-by making, eerily enough, very little sound given that there were well over a hundred peddle pushers


A few very lucky spectators ...


Shiny happy people under the arcades ...

I thought it'd be a good idea to make my way up to the Champs to see the final podium thing.

Here it was crawling with t.v crews and anchormen asking spectators the same leading type of questions :Can cycling ever be clean ? do you think the tour de france is dead ?


People were hanging off trees and lamps posts ... "s'cuse medo you think ..."


Finally the whole thing was over, the shirts were dished out and quite sweetly, i thought, the winner turned around and waved to every one behind the podium.


I found the whole thing very thirsty work and sloped off for a quick beer ;@)

Blague du jour

C'est l'histoire d'un patron qui veut embaucher un comptable : Je vais chercher un ancien militaire. Ce sont des gens rigoureux, disciplinés, etc, etc…

Arrive l'entretien (qui se passe bien) et à la fin, le patron demande à l'ancien gradé s'il sait compter.

"Evidemment! pour qui me prenez-vous ?"
"Très bien, mais allez-y un peu pour voir"
"Facile... UN DEUX, UN DEUX, UN DEUX........"

Alors le patron réfléchit et se dit: Je vais prendre un informaticien, ils sont intelligents, logiques, etc, etc…

L'entretien se passe bien et à la fin, il lui pose même question.

"Eh bien, si moi je ne sais pas, je ne sais pas qui saura! ... Pas de problème …0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1"

Finalement, il a une illumination : Je vais embaucher un fonctionnaire, honnête, consciencieux, etc, etc…

L'entretien est vite expédié et arrive la question finale.

"Savez-vous compter? "
"Mais bien sûr: UN DEUX TROIS..."
"Ouah et vous pouvez continuer ?"
"Bien sûr, QUATRE CINQ SIX SEPT HUIT... "
"Super, encore un peu ?"
"NEUF, DIX ...

.. VALET, DAME, ROI..."

Paris, La Seine, 1pm

In a nutshell; this week has been sheer madness !

I've been out on visits to clients pretty much every day and am in the process of getting things set up for when the holiday season comes to an end.

So although i have to work again tomorrow, for once it's not a bad thing as i'll be able to catch up on admin stuff that i've not been able to get to grips with this week.

BoyIdiot has gone away on his hols as of this after noon, so we'll have some respite from his little rituals and manies. MissusBossWoman goes back to Italy on monday to scatter her fathers ashes (a bit grim)

...

Today i saw my trainee who goes on 'sexual tourism' holidays - we both kind of commiserated with each other on the fact that we've both got another three weeks to hang on in before going away.

Apparently she's staying somewhere in the south because when i told her my plans, she grinned and said "ohhh that's not too far from where i'll be staying...."

Hmm mmm i'm thinking, as i type ;)

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Très fin

Au bureau, les femmes aiment se faire des confidences...

"Tiens, c'est amusant, quand je fais une gâterie à Pierre, il a les couilles froides !"

"Ah ben oui, c'est marrant, moi aussi, quand je fais une gâterie à Bernard, il a les couilles froides aussi !"

"Et toi, Sophie, quand tu fais une gâterie à Christophe, il a les couilles froides ?"

"Ben... Euh... je sais pas vraiment, j'ai jamais fait attention..."

"Ouuuuh toi ma vieille, ne nous dis pas que tu ne mets pas la main au paquet quand tu gâtes ton Christophe... Essaie, tu verras, ça va le rendre fou !!! Et puis, profites-en pour prendre la température !! Hi hi hi !"

Le lendemain, Sophie arrive au bureau avec un beau coquart et quelques incisives cassées...

"Bon sang, mais qu'est-ce qui t'est arrivé, Sophie ?"

"C'est à cause de vous, avec vos c... d'hier !"

"Comment ça ?"

"Ben oui, v'ai fait une pipe à Christophe hier soir et je lui ai dit : "Tiens, c'est rigolo, t'as les couilles chaudes, c'est pas comme Pierre et Bernard..."


Merci Balaj ;@)

Paris, Everywhere, anytime

A real baking hot scorcher of a day in Paris which makes a change from the grey crappy wet weather that's been passing for summer of late.

I'm due to go on my hols in three weeks time and although i still don't know where i'm going, i've got an idea germinating about going to the south which is very do-able. Although i still fancy a jaunt to the greek islands or Malta ... or anywhere really.

We'll see

Any way, i'm amazed sometimes by the openess of people ... i wouldn't dream about talking to real people in 'real life' about certain things, y'know.

Yet today this afternoon, someone i'd never met before and don't know from Adam, one of my future trainees, told me about their sexual orientation *plaffff* just like that.

Gotan Project - Santa Maria (Del Buen Ayre)

Click, listen, watch

When i decided to start posting things on-line i really wanted to find a nom de plume that somehow 'resonnated' with how i percieve myself to be.

In the Wim Wender's film "Wings of desire" the protagonist - un angel - has to make a decision: swap immortality for life and face up to the associated pain and strife that life brings, or continue to be invisible to all. Besides the point that he'd fallen in love with a human (Marion)

I'm not going into a synopsis here...

Generally, i'm pretty un-judgemental and take things and people as they come.

I accept things at face value but am equally aware that things are not always as they seem - scratch the surface, but beware.

I do my best to look out for others and point them in the right direction and make sure that they arrive at their destination in one piece - a bit of shepheard guiding his flock, if you prefer.

But i truly believe that sometimes it's better to not say or do anything - people have to learn for themselves.

Even if they take a few knocks, i'll always be there with a shoulder to lean (but not to cry) on.

blague du jour

C'est Jésus, un maçon portugais, à qui son patron ordonne d'aller refaire un mur dans un couvent.

Il frappe à la porte du couvent, la soeur concierge vient lui ouvrir.

- Jou m'appelle Jésouss, jou viens fare la mour.

- Pardon ? ? ? ?

- Jou viens pour fare la mour.

- Mais, monsieur, c e n'est pas ici, vous vous trompez !

- Mou non, jou mou trompe pas. Le patroune a dit : Tou vas fare la mour au couvanne, alors jou viens pour fare la mour.

- Non ! Partez, hors de ma vue, suppôt de Satan !

Jésus retourne donc voir son patron :

- Patroune, la bounne sore elle a dit quou faut pas fare la mour !

- Mais si, Jésus. Le béton est prêt, il va durcir. Retourne là-bas ! Dépêche-toi !

Notre Jésus retourne donc au couvent :

-Jou vien fare la mour ! Le patroune il a dit de fare la mour tout d'chouite parche que la bitoun déjà elle dourchit !

Paris, St Germain des près, 18h

I'm still in recovery mode from the weekend.

Heuuu ...

I kinda went out for dinner with friends and stayed out late (v.v.late)

Today just flew by - thankfully - and as i type i'm thinking but one word :beeeedddd

I've got meetings all over the place to set things up for the start of the new season and i have to really be on the ball.

Even so, i'm thinking about where i'll go for my summer break.

This year it'll only be for two weeks instead of the usual four - i've had enough of not having any more free time left over to go off somewhere during the rest of the year... but, y'know, when footloose and fancy free, there's not much point to dossing around on your own for a month.

For the next few weeks or so until i go away, i'll be checking out good deals and last miniute stuff (i'd love to back to greece) but i'll just play it by ear and wait and se.

Je vais avouer un truc

Je n'ai jamais parlé pas de mon ‘ex’
Ni celle avec qui je 'sort' actuellement
Ni celle d'avant ...

Je suis désolé pour vous toutes;
Je vous fais du tort
Je nie votre existence,
En somme

Je le sais,
Je le ressens :
Je suis un salaud
Je ne l’assume pas

Voila c’est dit

Je suis toujours très amoureux, extrêmement amoureux
De celle que j’ai connu il y a un an :
Celle dont j’ai parlé

C’est con,
Très con

En plus;
Je le sais

Paris, Jardin de Luxembourg, 1pm

My gawwd, it's been an age; today i spent the morning laying low in my office hiding.

I got absolutely wasted last night -Steamed, stonked, blitzed, mashed ... call it what you will but I wasn't hung over, no way, not me : i was still rolling drunk at nine o'clock this morning.

There was no reason behind it, it just happened - i invited someone round for dinner (in mid week) and after the apéros, there was the wine, the digestif, le trou normand, a few beers + a few more and a few more ... the rest is history

It's v. v. bad news if you have to see people and 'do things'. Important things for clients. It felt sooooooooooo bad, being the ball of a real life pinball machine.

Hollywood in 2057

Today's joke

An oldie but goodie

A guy is flying over the Pacific when the plane starts to struggle .

Pretty quickly, the plane ditches into the sea but he manages to get out in time and swim to a nearby desert island.

When he comes round, he looks around the beach and sees that the only other survivor is a beautiful blonde woman who he realizes, to his amazement is Claudia Schiffer.

She is quite badly hurt but he nurses her back to health and in doing so, she falls in love with him.

Their life on the island is absolutely idyllic.
Its warm there is plenty of food and water and they spend their entire time shagging like bunny rabbits all over the island.
However, the guy begins to get grumpy and irritable.
Claudia can’t work out what is wrong.
“Tell me. You know I love you and will do anything to make you happy.”
“I can’t. You’ll think I’m weird”
“No really. I’ll do anything”
“Ok then. First of all, would you mind putting my clothes on?”
“Ok”
“Now would you rub some mud on your face, just round your chin as if you have a five o clock shadow?”
“Ok”
“Now could you sit on this rock and act like you are holding a pint in this hand and a fag in the other?”
“Ok”
“Right, now this is the important bit. Could you ask me in a really gruff deep voice what I have been up to?”
“Er..Ok. So what have you been up to?”

“YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GUESS WHO I’VE BEEN SHAGGING!”

Paris, Les Champs Elysées, 5pm.

Heat : scorching
Fractious and agressive métro passengers : uncountable
Shorts+ hairy legs+white calf length socks + sandals : tons
Hot chicks giving moi the full 'beam' effect : one *i've gotta seriously do something about that*

It's still summer and at long last Les Champs have come alive with little bombs of the sexy variety - s'funny but i've sudenly gotten the urge to go out during my lunch breaks.

What happens if you're in busy city, have to be somewhere for an important meeting and can't be arsed / don't have time to find a parking place ? You get a guy to park for you.

A voiturier.

Where i work there are three or four guys who make living from doing just that.

They have a basic wage plus the tips they get from grateful laszy people - ils se font des couilles en or, as we say.

I was talking to one of these guys this afternoon, who straight away said :

"Your english, right ? I know someone who wants to improve her english .. you could teach her, right ? for a bit of dosh on the side"

Me: "bit on the side ? !!!!!!"

Me : "Heuuuu ... a 'her' ? How old is she ? What's she like ? "

Him : " a young chick ... very tasty looking ... works as a lawyer"

Me *suddenly waking up* : "Here's my card !!"

Héhéhé ;@)

Paris, sur les berges, 1pm

Which brings me back to one of my trainees - no, not the one who finds me "intellectually interesting" (that really does bug the arse off me, that one) but another one.

Every day, for the last three weeks or so that she's been around, she walks by my office, waves, gives me a huge shit-eating grin and says "saluuuut" and waves some more *very nice*

I really don't know her from Adam ... really and truly ... she could be the cleaner for all i know

After she'd seen one of my trainers today, i asked him, y'know, who's the chick.

He says to me "ohhhhh she really likes you. Who's the guy in the downstairs office, she keeps asking ..."

So obviously, by now, i'm a bit intereted "tell me more", i say.

"Well, she loves going on sexual tourism holidays ... she's after a good old shagging ! She tells me everything, in all the gory details ..."

"Heuuu ..ok ... so there's a bit of a risk that you'd end up catching things that you can't get rid of with soap and water, then ? ... you think ? " *gulp*

sums it all up really :@/

Paris, on a café terrace some where, 6pm

French T.V

It's very rare that i post twice in a day and even more so that i watch T.V, but here's something that's blowing me away big time.

Since the start of the month, my favorite french T.V channel (ARTE) has been doing a bit of a retrospective of the 1960's and more particulary the summer of love.

I've died and gone to heaven - yup, s'true, i'm a hippie.

I've gone to hippie heaven :@)

We've been treated to films like The Graduate, Barbarella and god knows what else ...

Tonight has been concert night.

As i type i'm watching Jimi Hendrix at Monterrey :



This snippet is what they've just shown.

I absolutely love that whole period of time and really feel that i've missed out on something.

Before that though, we had an hour and a half of The Stones at Altamont.

We saw the hastle they had in getting the thing set up, how everyone demanded 'X' amount of money for insurance, the local police getting jittery about the tens of thousand of young kiddies, all tripped out, coming from all over the states to see the boys perform.



Mick J is told by one of the angels that something 'very bad' has happened.

We see that he's visibly shaken and whilst the guys carry on riffing, you get the feeling that he's seriously, very seriously, thinking about calling it a night.

Memories

This is a bit of a retro-active follow up to the post above ...

When i was a kid, or more precisely, when i was an adolescent coming to terms with the death of a parent and living with a military father, i used to spend my time listening to the likes of The Kinks, The Who, The Stones and .. heuuu .. Frank Zappa (!!)

Evidently this unsettled my Father considerably.

He was a guy who was born and raised in a farming community in the 1940's and then spent the rest of his life in the navy.

When he came home from work, he used to say (in his own vernacular) "I don't mind the loud, hippie, flower power music, but the day i smell them funny fags in the 'ouse; sunshine, yer out on yer fakkin' ear"

Soooo

When i was aged at around sixteen i had a bout of !rebellion! : i went out and got an ear pierced !!

Whoohoo big deal.

At that time, though, in the early 80's in engerland, ear piercing (according my father) was for "bleedin' raving pooftahs, nancy boys an' big gahhls blaahhses"

:@)

That was my dad for ya !

Anyhoo ... i spent the following three or four days trying my best to disguise what i'd done: scratching 'that' side of my head when he was around, turning my head arkwardly away when i had to clear the dinner table or just hiding in my bedroom listening to musique (the internets didn't exist way back then)

That kind of stuff...

A bit like in American Beauty where the father asks his son to give him piss samples ...

'Till one day, he arrived unexpectedly, in my room, whilst i had the music on full bore.

Oops.

"I daahn't know how many times i've told you to turn dahhn ..... wha the fuck's tha thing ? ... you got summat to tell me, boy ? "

And that was it !!

I'm sure that until the day he pegged it, he was convinced his only son was a raving girly-man !

He was right about the 'raving' part though.

Maybe i could have told him about Tracy or Lizzie ... but, well, if you live on a 'need to know' basis, then, there are some things he just didn't really 'need' to know;

Y'know ?

;@)

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Les perles du bac 2007

Physique

* Un ion à charge négative est un onion.
* Un corps plongé dans l'eau est soumis à la poussée de Chimène.
* La physique a été découverte par hasard dans l'antiquité par Larry Stote.
* La loi de la pesanteur montre que c'est toujours le plus gros qui gagne toujours.

Chimie

* Il y a deux sortes de gaz : le gaz naturel et le gaz surnaturel.
* Quand le chlore est entièrement dissous dans l'eau, on dit qu'il y a dix solutions.
* Le mercure est un liquide qui a la particularité d'être solide.
* Pour congeler un corps, il faut le faire bouillir en remplaçant la chaleur par du froid.

Paris, Pont Neuf, 1pm

More iffy weather today : baking hot temeratures this morning going in to work, bucketing rain and heavy heat at the end of the day - i came home tonight to find that my fruit bowl had turned into a seething mass of gunk.

I've generally had one of those 'off' days where everything has been too much trouble and i just couldn't, really and truly couldn't, be arsed to do anything ... we even had a new admin assistant being trained up by MissusAccountsWoman that i couldn't be bothered to go and chat up - not normal for me, that.

Perhaps i'm ill, or pining.

That's not all though; i had a bit of a chit-chat with the trainee who (allegedly) finds me 'intellectually interesting' (! bwouahahaha! it still bugs me that one) and i was left with the distinct impression that she has psychosomatic health issues.

Yes, really

So there ya go : it's official - only bonkers chicks are interested in you's truly 8@/

Les perles du bac 2007

Philo

* Socrate a été contraint de se suicider lui-même.
* A la lecture de Freud, chacun peut reconnaître Sally Bido.
* Les principaux philosophes d'aujourd'hui sont BHV et Justine Lévy.
* Le fonctionnement de la mémoire est illustré par l'épisode de la madeleine de Sartre.

Mathématiques

* Une racine carrée, en fait, n'est pas vraiment une racine et n'est pas de forme carrée.
* On mesure les longueurs avec trois unités : le mette, le centimette, et le millimette.
* Un cercle est une figure en forme de rond-point.
* Une représentation en trois dimensions, c'est quand on a la longueur, la largeur et la grandeur.

Biologie

* L'acte d'avaler s'appelle l'engloutition.
* Les deux intestins sont le gros colomb et l'instestin grec.
* Le régime alimentaire se compose des glucides, des protides et des livides.
* On dit que la langue est un organe dégustatif.
* La faucille et le marteau sont des organes internes de l'oreille.

The La's - There she goes

Les perles du bac 2007

Culture

* Parmi les Sept Merveilles du monde figurent les jardins suspendus des Batignolles.
* Le chef de file du surréalisme est Salvador Dalida.
* Picasso a représenté les Demoiselles d'Avignon sous forme de cubes. C'est sa période cubaine.
* L'élève préféré de Rodin était Isabelle Adjani.
* Les plus grands auteurs de l'époque classique sont Corneille, Racine et Molaire.
* Les plus célèbres comédies de Molière sont "Le médecin malgré Louis" et les "Fous Rires de Scapin".
* La meilleure pièce de Molière est "L'Ami Zantrope".
* L'auteur des "Fourbis" est Escarpin.

Politique

* Les centristes sont surtout représentés par François Beyrouth.
* Bertrand Delanoë est le président de la République de Paris.
* Les hommes politiques financent leurs campagnes avec des dépôts de vin.
* Beaucoup d'hommes politiques ont fait l'ENA, l'Ecole nationale de l'admiration.

Lapins de glissades

* En France, il est interdit d'arrêter quelqu'un en son absence.
* Quand la chasse est fermée, il est strictement interdit de l'ouvrir.
* Dans notre société, le premier motif de l'alcoolisme est la boisson.
* Dans les villes, le problème de la sécurité est surtout un problème d'insécurité.

Paris, fbg St Honoré, 11am

Quick, break out the shades and sun block : summer has arrived *wayhayyy*

Stifling heat :@/

Long legs and short skirts ;@)

Sweat drenched, unwashed bodies on the metro :@[

Meanwhile, outside, on Les Champs things are being prepared for the coronation of Little Nick French independance day tomorrow.

Whole swathes of the pavement on both sides of the street have been cordoned off by metal barriers, crossing points have been removed and big ugly blokes are walking around with shooters.

Simply put : we're all being herded around like some new kind of hybrid monkey cattle.

Feeling harrased and un-motivated to go for a beer (tourists in shorts+hairy legs+white socks in open toe sandals have started to invade my watering hole), i made a bee line straight home to have a shower.

Meanwhile ...

Winnie the cat's been playing today.

Boy, did that cat have some fun.

He managed to rip off the closet door.

And wedge it up against the front door.

To get into the appartment, i had to squeeze in through a gap <this> big....


Winnie is going straight to bed tonight with no dinner and no T.V

LaFrance vue par ..

Paris vue par les parisiens



Fin de série *sniff sniff*

les perles du Bac 2007

Géographie

* Le Mont Blanc est à 4 807 mètres au dessus du niveau de la mer, sauf quand la mer monte.
* l'île de France est une grande île au milieu de la Seine.
* La Terre serait recouverte de glace s'il n'y avait pas les volcans pour la chauffer de l'intérieur.
* Autrefois, la Belgique s'appelait le Congo belge.
* Il est triste de penser que le pôle Nord et le pôle Sud ne se rencontreront jamais.

Histoire

* Quand on l'a brûlée [ndlr : Jeanne d'Arc], les gens ont senti une odeur de sainteté.
*Les pauvres s'appelaient sans-culottes car ils n'avaient pas les moyens de s'acheter un slip.
* Pour arrêter les Allemands, les Français avaient construit le mur de Berlin.
* C'est Bob Dylan qui a remplacé Kennedy à la présidence.
* Quand il y a des problèmes dans le monde, l'ONU envoie des casquettes bleues.

Musique

*Il y a deux musiciens qui s'appellent Bach : Jean-Sébastien et Jean-Offen.
*Quand on étudie la musique chez soi, on fait de la musique au logis.
*Comme son nom l'indique, le blues a été inventé par les noirs.
*Le principe de la musique est de faire des notes avec des bruits de sons.
* La music-hallologie, c'est la science qui étudie le music-hall

Cheers Balaj :@)

Paris, avenue George V, 12am

I'm being Mr international this week ;@)

I've been dealing with clients from as far apart as Sweden and New Caledonia - i'm feeling all jet lagged .. well ok, virtual jet jag, that is.

Does that count ?

BoyIdiot has been smothering MissusBossWoman since she came back. Understandably, she looked less glamourous than usual and somewhat alien-from-Roswell-like greenish/grey.

I know how she feels and have a lot of empathy for what she must be feeling right now. Especially now that her mais left on her own and already has health issues (alzheimers, i think).

Other than that, one of my trainers came up to me today and said that one of my trainees thought that i was luurvely :@)))))), but then he added "she said she found you intellectually interesting" :@((( !!!!!!

What in the hell is that ?

Me thinks i'll have to sort her out tomorrow "oi ... you ... i want your body not your mind ..."

D'ya think that could be a winning opening gambit ?









Nahhh me neither

hollywood in 2057

Blague du jour

Une petite expérience valant mieux qu'un long discours, un curé décide qu'une démonstration donnerait plus de poids à son sermon du dimanche.

Pour cela, il met quatre vers de terre dans quatre flacons :

- le premier ver dans un flacon d'alcool,
- le second dans un flacon plein de fumée de cigarette,
- le troisième dans un flacon de sperme,
- enfin le dernier, dans un flacon d'eau bien propre.

A la fin de son sermon, le pasteur donna les résultats de l'expérience :

Le ver dans le flacon d'alcool est mort.

Le second, dans le flacon plein de fumée de cigarette, est mort.

Le troisième, dans le flacon de sperme, est mort

Le dernier, dans le flacon d'eau bien propre, a survécu.

Le curé demande à l'assemblée : Quels enseignements pouvons-nous retirer de cette démonstration ?

On entend alors la voix d'une petite vieille du fond de l'église :

Tant qu'on boit, qu'on fume et qu'on baise, on n'aura pas de vers !

Paris, Avenue George V, 11am

I went to bed incredibly late last night/early this morning...

Nothing dramatic behind it though; the cats Winnie and Reglisse are back :@)

I'm looking after them for the next three weeks or so. Both cats spent the night getting used to their new surroundings.

Winnie was in discovery mode and jumping at every dark shadow until he found a way of hiding under the sink. Reglisse just did her thing and claimed the bed as 'her' piece of turf.

What with their scuffling and beating up on each other i should guess that i went to bed at way past 2 o'clock.

I got in to work looking as though i'd spent the night on the town (apparently) - which is OK because MissusBossWoman hasn't come back yet ... she'll probably be there tomorrow.

Blague du jour

Un mec complètement bourré vient sonner avec insistance chez des gens en pleine nuit.

L'homme de la maison se lève et demande furieux :

- Qu'est-ce que tu veux ?

L'autre lui répond :

- Viens me pousser !!! Il faut que tu viennes me pousser !!!!

Excédé le propriétaire de la maison lui dit :

-Je ne te connais pas, et en plus il est 4 heures du matin, tu me réveilles pour me dire de te pousser et j'en ai pas envie, alors dégage d'ici et ne me dérange plus !!!

De retour dans la chambre, il se remet au lit, mais sa femme qui a tout entendu, le sermonne :

- Quand même tu exagères, cela t'est déjà arrivé d'être en panne la nuit, tu aurais pu le pousser ce pauvre type.

- Ouais, mais il fait froid et en plus il est bourré !!!

- Raison de plus pour l'aider, il ne va pas y parvenir tout seul. Non ?? Vraiment, je ne te reconnais pas, je suis très déçue de ton attitude...!!!

Son mari, pris de remords, se rhabille et descend. Il ouvre la porte et crie :

- Eh mec !!! C'est d'accord, je me suis habillé exprès pour venir te pousser !!! Tu es où ?

Et le mec bourré répond :

- Là , sur la balançoire...!!!

Paris, 2nd district, 2pm

I seriously feel as though the week has had ten days to it, i'm feeling all straggly and fraggled out.

MissusBossWoman went to her father's funeral today in Rome and more than likely will be back on monday - so taking the 'pressure' off BoyIdiot.

In France, there is a huge emphasis on 'imposing' oneself in any given situation (me, meeeee, meeeeeeeeee first)

It could be queue jumping at the boulangerie, flashing a crisp 20€ note at the barman for a beer or even changing lanes at the motorway toll gate, just to be two cars in front.

You'll often hear a french person say: "il faut s'imposer"

Evidently, in any country in any job you have to be able to defend your turf - more so if your supposed to be in any kind of supervisory role.

If you're incabable of imposing you will, unable to gain respect, and can't make clear-cut decisions ... well ... let's just say you'll end up a laughing stock

Abbréviations utiles

FISC
Fédération Incomprise de Sadiques Criminels
Faut Inciser et Saigner le Contribuable

CAP
Certificat d'Aptitude à la Pauvreté

BAC
Brevet d'Accès au Chômage

BTS
Brevet de Traîne Savates

DEUG
Diplôme Enseignant l'Utilisation de Généralités

ENA
Ecole Nationale pour Autistes
Eléments Nuisibles et Arrivistes

SDF
Sans Difficulté Financière

Paris, le Marais, 2pm

Another long, drawn out and tiring day today with non stop interviews from the minute i arrived till the moment i left to go home.

I didn't think i'd be leaving until about 7pm but surprisingly enough, managed to get my stuff wrapped up by about 5.45 :@)

I think, but it's not sure yet, that i've picked up a contract to work with a governmental ministry and i managed to squeeze in a good natter with my fave DRH in the afternoon.

MissusBossWoman is still away in Italy which leaves BoyIdiot to 'rule' the roost in his farting shoes.

His idea of 'running things' is literally to run around the place, huffing, puffing, panting and cursing under his breath ... well not 'cursing' really, more of a mantra "oooh what stress"

Sadly though, we found out at the end of the day that MissusBossWoman's father has passed away.

la France vue par ....

... les corses

6 questions

Another thing lifted from my bloghopping travels (once again, no apologies)

What were you doing 10 years ago ?

I was probably thinking about where i was going on holiday and lusting after the upstairs neighbour's wife ;@) She was an ‘exotic’ dancer, as we say euphemistically.

What were you doing 1 year ago ?

Heuumm ... this time last year i was living in Versailles, thinking about the summer holidays and lusting after my neighbours ... nahhhh, not Barbie, no way, i wouldn’t touch her with yours :@) This time last year it must have been during the football world cup and probably met a fellow blogger for a beer ... or three.

5 snacks you enjoy ?

I’m not a big snacker, i prefer to eat a sandwich if i’m feeling peckish.

But, if ever the uncontrolable urge arrives, i’ll happily munch a bag of crisps, a banana, a croque monsieur, a Gréc frites (hmmm mmm) or breakfast snack bars - i prefer the Frosties ones :@))

If you were a millionaire ?

Hang on, what currency are talking here ? If it were dollars, i’d probably buy half of a sports car... if it were euros, well ... probably the same ...

If it were S.A rands – now you’re talking bubba !!

I’d git mesel’ a nice little appartement in Cape Town, put some dosh into a vineyard and invest the rest on the sub Saharan continent.

Probably though, i’d stick it all in the bank and let it make babies :@)

5 bad habits ?

Bad Habits ?

Moi ? Jamais de la vie

5 things you would never wear again

Womens under .. leave it !! i’m joking.

I can’t imagine myself wearing cycling shorts again, ‘fashion’ suits, big chunky flight jackets (jean jackets are ok though), espadrills, trainers without socks.

Paris, les Champs Elysées, 1pm

So, then...

This is summer then ?

I can't believe we're in July.

Where's the sun, the heat, the chicks in the briefest of mini-skirts ?

There's none of that on Les Champs, ohhh noooo.

It's all grey, wet and dull.

Not particularly propice to leaving the office for a wander and a gander.

I stay put and don't budge from the moment i arrive till the moment i leave, having to listen to BoyIdiot's new shoes farting up and down the corridoor.

On another note, MissusBosswoman is still in Italy because he father has had a bit of a bad turn with his heart, apparently.

My sympathies go out to her.